Sunday, April 3, 2011

Fourth Fight: Hippo V Rhino!

It is time for another battle. This time it is between a Wolf and a Hippo. The usual crowds of nobles, passer-bys and gamblers fill the stands. The arena has been changed overnight with the help of a massive army of laborers.
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When the judges declare any fans who further disrupt the games will be put to death, an outbreak of cheers infects the crowd.
The trumpets sound and the games begin!
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The hippo and the wolf rush right for each other!
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Both animals pause upon getting within striking distance of each other! The hippo makes grunting sounds at the wolf, who snarls and runs around the hippo.
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The hippo stands its' ground in the center. It must know the wolf is a pack animal, and is just trying to tire it before striking. The wolf continues to yip and growl as it encircles the hippopotamus!
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THE HIPPO STOMPS WITH IT'S FOOT!
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The fight is over in less than two minutes! The hippo is the victor this time!
Again, the citizens of Blog Fortressia leave the collosseum and head home or to alehouses.

Stay tuned for an update about the upcoming Semi-Finals!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Third Fight Tiger V Rhino

Yet again, the crowds gather for a blood bath. A Tiger pitted against a Rhino.
As soon as the stands fill, the trumpets blast!
Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war!
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You'd think that the roaring crowds, and trumpets would waken one of our fighters. Let's check on that Rhino:
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There are boos from the crowd. They didn't come here to watch a Rhino feed, they came to watch it kill.
But wait! There's a commotion on one edge of the lower stands!
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The guards were unable to stop the fan from rushing into the arena! Oh no! Now the Tiger opens its' eyes at last!
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There is jovial laughter coming from parts of the stands, still others boo at this nincompoop. There are calls from the audience to the Tiger to slay that fan quickly so the fight can actually begin.
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The Rhino, its' kind known for being fiercely territorial, has paid attention to the newcomer and is charging at the fan and chasing tiger!
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The tiger has been gored by the Rhino's mighty horns! The rhino continues to run laps around the collesseum.
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The tiger allows the fan to pet it's soft head. In its' final breaths, it purrs like an oversized kitten. It dies, and the fan curses at the Rhino.
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Hark! The fan is going away from the tiger!
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The crowd is in turmoil! Many are booing, and throwing produce into the arena. But look! What do the judges say of this turn of events?
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The fan has broken one of the spinning blades from its' mechanism and is wielding it like a sword! He stands still as the Rhino charges at him!
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Unbelievable! The fan has decapitated the Rhino! Many in the stands are cheering him on! Now instead of produce, flowers are thrown in the stands! The fan collects his prize:
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Who is this mystery champion? Where has he come from? What poisonous roots did he eat that inspired him to rush into the heat of the arena? All of that will be answered after the authorities have had their turn questioning him.
For now, Pontius, one of the judges stands up and makes this declaration:
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The collosseum guards rush into the arena to apprehend the crazy fan. He surrenders immediately.

Tomorrow, another fight will grace the hallowed arena!
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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

FIGHT DAY!!! Shark V Lion!!!

It's that time again. That time where the streets leading to the collosseum are packed from side to side with eager crowds. Of course, the capital is still crowded from Sunday's game. Late-comers file into the city as the fight between Shark and Lion begins.
For this fight, the arena has been flooded.
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There are new traps in the arena in this game. The mine traps have been donated by a friendly neighboring kingdom of Gnomes. Should anything swim into them, they'll explode. There are also nets enchanted with lightning so as to shock whatever gets caught in them.

The lion starts off on a podium, having been floated out there by it's handlers. The shark is released!
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The shark swims circles around the podium. The Lion seems a bit cowardly in the face of the water surrounding it. But wait! The Shark makes the first move!
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The crowd roars and a splash sends water droplets to the highest seats in the collosseum:
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Tense moments have gone by, and there's no sign of struggle. No blood has floated to the surface, and the audience is on the edge of their seats.
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But wait! Signs of life and of death appear. The shark breaks the surface with blood encircling it!
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Wow!
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Somehow the lion has allowed the shark to eat it and attacked it from within!
The lion is the clear victor in this match! It licks it's paws clean. Or is it savoring the blood of it's fallen enemy?
Begrudgingly, the shark's trainer announces that the shark's meat will be sold at a local butcher shop, as is the local custom. Proceeds will help the trainer trap another shark.

The crowds rush to their bookies, back home or wherever it is they go to after each match.
They await the next fight Tiger versus Rhino this Saturday.
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Sunday, March 27, 2011

FIGHT DAY!!! CROC vs BEAR

The day is finally upon us... After so much anticipation, the first fight between the Crocodile and Bear...
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Place your bets with the clerks and find your seats.
colloseum

Here we are, at the opening match of the blog collosseum fights. The crowds have swelled the city, eager to get a glimpse of the match. The animals, their handlers and trainers have all made temporary residences within the collosseum grounds. Outside the collosseum, a mish-mash of locals, and tourists ebb and flow about the streets and thoroughfares. Streetcart vendors line the middle of many roads, selling their wares of produce, pottery and even jugs of ales. There are exotic animals, and other strange goods from all around the empire being sold as well. Ticket-scalpers call out to the throngs of people rushing into the gates,
Pickpockets and cutpurses are out in number preying on the event goers. The city guard have been dispatched in full force. Punishments given will be severe and permanently scarring.
Most of the patrons of the games have found their seats. Aristocrats, notable nobles, key merchants and influential people all have special boxes to view the games in. The general public scurries and fights each other for close seats, but even the back row offers a good view of the arena.
There is a buzz of excitement, and the crowds cheer as trumpets blare within the collosseum. It is time for the fight.
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The crowds cheer as the agitated crocodile and the angered bear emerge from their gates.
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Both animals head straight for each other. Could these beasts know of the anticipated bloodshed the crowd awaits?
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The crocodile is first to rush into the fight. It leaps forward hoping to catch the bear in it's jaws which are like a steel trap. There are excited whoops and hollers from the crowd.
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But the crocodile misses it's first attack, giving the bear an ample moment to swipe downward with its' mighty paw, knocking the crocodile even closer to the dirt.
But the crocodile isn't so easily cast aside as a competitor, it makes a sharp movement of it's long jaws and gets the bear's leg caught in its' gaping maw.
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The crocodile shakes its' head while its' razor sharp teeth lock into place. The bear wails on the crocodile in a futile effort to break free. Something else breaks:
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Bones are torn from tendons, flesh from bone, and the lower half of the bear's leg comes off. The bear is momentarily stunned from the shock of losing a limb, and the crocodile appears appeased with its' meal. The bear falls over clawing at its' wound. The crowd goes absolutely wild at the scene of carnage and gore. Several people are calling for the croc to finish the job.
The crocodile walks away from the confrontation, leaving the bear to bleed to death.
But the crocodile does not know the layout of the arena, for it is just a simple beast. It steps onto a pressure plate which causes an unsettling mechanical clank.
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In an instant, several iron spikes shoot upwards out of a plate. Bones crack, blood sprays and flesh is ripped and torn. The crocodile is finished.
A team of priests and mage healers rush out onto the arena, to collect the scarcely surviving fighter. Half of the crowd is angry and the other half is excited at their winnings.
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The first fight is over. The bear emerges victorious but horribly disfigured. Mage healers will attempt to graft an artificial limb on the bear so that it is ready for it's next fight. For now, it has time to heal until the semi-final fights.

In a few days, the collosseum will be packed again for another event, a Shark versus a Lion.
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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Blog Colloseum

During a seriously dull bout of deskwarming, I became possessed with an idea. The Best Idea.
Enough talk, more ROCK!
Teaser Poster

Why look here, it's the Blogopolis Town Crier:
Town Crier
Brutally Mangled? HOLY SHIT!

Check out this sweet line-up?
Fight Schedule (Pre-Semi)
That's right, SEVEN BATTLES between BEASTS of MAYHEM and HORROR! All in the next few weeks!

A tournament? You'd better believe it!
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A rough birds'eye sketch of the BATTLEGROUNDS!
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Bet you can't wait to see what that MYSTERY HEXAGON OF DEATH is!

Stay Tuned.

Comment on how you think the battles will turn out.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Awesome [?] videos part 1

I know it's hypocritical to say I don't watch TV, when I'll watch the DVD of a show when it comes out. But then, there's other places where you can get your aural/visual fix, too. I've got to say I kind of like the DIY approach to entertainment Youtube offers. After all, it's nice to see the internet beat out the ways of the old.

Without further pretension, have some videos:

After a late night of typing random words into my youtube search bar, I came across a web comedy channel, Smosh.


And the adorable Charlie the Guinea Pig.


Then, there's this random ass video that's been floating around for awhile: (probably not work safe)


If you've lived under a rock, you might have missed out on the whole Look Around You episodes from the BBC:


8-Bit Starcraft anyone?


This awesome video of people spazzing out


Possibly the best music video ever?


The best video game mash-up?


That's it for now, I know not everyone's running on a sweet Korean high speed internet connection.

General going ons

Last weekend, I went down to Mokpo. I taught there my first year in Korea. I had the chance to reconnect with some old friends and hear how life's been treating them. It was a refreshing break from the same old, same old.

It's been decided that my travel plans at the end of my contract are changed for good. I'm not sure if this means the plan is scrapped altogether in favor of me just saving some money or if I'll go on some smaller type of trip. To Be Announced...

It's weird to think that in my over two years of living abroad that I haven't once gone home. I've got nothing against my family, or friends back home. In fact, I miss all of them dearly. I just saw a chance to see the world and jumped on it and haven't really looked back.

Well, I'm on the downward curve of this journey in Korea. My family is missing me, and the health of some of my family is of concern to me. I'm also worried that the longer I'm out here the less I'm able to go back and settle down. I'm not worried with frivolous fears of having sold myself short by having work experience abroad. I know I will use the skills I've picked up out here in whatever the next chapter in my life is.

As a reward for reading along this far, have a video:


and have another one!


Blog Fortress: We might not be the best blog but God(tm)Dammit, we're entertaining!